One Woman’s Journey to Healing Her Heart

For me, life hasn't been the "picture perfect standard." It's been more like a series of imperfect situations, which I do believe, will eventually shape me into the woman God knows I can be. Somewhere within this crazy mixed-up process, the Master is creating a masterpiece.

This blog is my journey of starting over ... again. In the last 5 years, I've ended 2 marriages, lost two homes, lost a multi-six figure business overnight and restarted my life three times. Hopefully the third time is the charm.

Several years ago, God showed me a man who would enter my life -- a man I'd stand on a stage and speak alongside, who would work with me to transform my property into a retreat location, who would be an integral part of my life's mission.

I was given very specific characteristics of this man. 

In time it became clear that my first husband would never be that man. Other things also happened to make that marriage one that I could not continue. I felt a clear directive from God that it was time to move on. After 28 years of marriage, I was back in the dating world.

The more I dated, the more I began to believe this future man was a figment of my overactive imagination. Surely, no man could be that perfect for me. I mean, seriously, what were the odds? I made my list more practical ... more realistic. After a heartbreak, I decided to look for a "safe man."

In September of 2015, after much prayer, I felt I should marry my second husband. He felt like a good man and a "safe" choice. After we were married, he encouraged me to leave my home and property and all the dreams I had for it, and start over in a new home with him. Due to financial pressures, I agreed. I also wanted to give our marriage a good shot in a new home that was just ours.

Within 18 months, to my surprise, my second husband decided he didn't want to be married anymore. He told me he wanted out, four days before my mother died in March of 2017.

Overnight, I found myself back in the home I grew up in, helping my dad transition the loss of my mother, to whom he'd been married for 52 years. I lived with him for five months before getting a small two bedroom apartment with my teenage son.

On this blog I share my adventures of healing my heart from the simultaneous loss of my mother and the rejection of my husband, and re-entering the dating world.  As I start over again here, I hope you'll join me and gain some encouragement, understanding and hope for your journey.

Marnie

Receive notices about new blog posts and books from Marnie.

"I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us most to grow, if we let them, and help them in return. Well, I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you.

"Like a comet pulled from orbit, as it passes the sun, like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood. Who can say if I've been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good." ("For Good" from Wicked)