In This Moment

I Have Everything I Need In This Moment

The journey of the last few months has taught me a life-altering principle. When you simultaneously “lose” your angel mother, your marriage, your property, a drivable car, and temporarily can’t live in the same home with your children for several months, it has the ability to take you to a place where there is nothing but you and God.

Your relationship with Him is all that matters. When you lean into that, instead of fighting the emotions or the reality, when you sing His praises through it all, something extraordinary happens.

God opened my eyes to see that nothing is ever lost. Nothing is created or destroyed. It simply changes forms.

In the vey moment that those manifestations of God’s love and provision left my life, new ones came to take their place. God gave me a place to live, a car to drive. He raised up friends, poured out music and gifts, strengthened family relationships, and opened my eyes to see all the love and compensating blessings around me.

I began to see my mother everywhere. Her love enveloped me. God brought friends and loved ones to give me the support, the belonging, the acknowledgement, and the caring I once received from a spouse.

Honestly, it was more than I’d received from him. It came from hundreds of people and from many new close friends I could be open and vulnerable with.

About 3 months after it all happened, I received an overwhelming understanding that I have everything I’d ever need, no matter what happened. I saw clearly that I can always trust God to provide. Once I saw this, He began consolidating all that love, acknowledgement, belonging and provision into a group and then into one person. Then He began returning the years the locusts had eaten.

I see resurrection and restoration all around me in process and I trust it will continue to a full restoration. But if not, I am always provided for in this moment… everything I need is right here with me right now, if I continue to have eyes to see and receive.

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Posted in A New Life, grief, Losing My Mom.

One Comment

  1. Wow Marnie what insight! I think that my son is going through a similar awakening in prison. It doesn’t involve dating but it does involve loosing everything and learning to rely on God for everything you need.

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