seeing yourself

Seeing Yourself Through Another’s Eyes

He uses his words
And I become a diamond
Sparkling just for him.

When you’re a personality type that comprises 1% of the population, there aren’t many people who really get you — all of you. You’re always holding back pieces of yourself with most people. You tone yourself down, try to translate who you are. You can’t fully be your entire self with any one person.

When you meet someone who is a compatibility match for your quirky idiosyncrasies, personality, intensity, and communication patterns, there’s an instant connection that (in my¬†experience) lasts for the rest of your life. It’s like coming home.

I’m an INFJ (Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging) on the Meyers Briggs personality profiling system. Almost all of my besties are INFJs as well. But bring on an ENFP (Extroverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving) and it’s like heaven… a really fun, profound, adventurous, loving heaven.

I’m dating a man who is an ENFP and it’s the most amazing experience. I’ve begun to realize how much of myself I have filtered with other men. There are things I actually cut lose and do (like pull up a favorite song on my phone and ask him to dance in the park). I would have never done something like that before because I would have been self-conscious or thought I’d be considered “over-the-top” or foolish.

With this man, I am more myself than I have been with anyone. I’m still an introvert. I still process before I speak, but he has a way of drawing me out in a way that is gentle and completely accepting. The conversations are open and honest.

In addition to the INFJ-ENFP slam-dunk compatibility, because I’ve been through so much, I am more willing to risk being fully myself. The last thing I want is to get into another relationship where someone doesn’t fully see me or value me.

Because this man’s love language is words, he has a way of articulating back to me who I am. He tells me things about myself that I’ve never shared with anyone… things I’ve known on an instinctive level but have never put into words. We talk for hours, laugh together, cry together, sing, pray and create together.

He sees and values me like no one ever has — comparing me to a multi-faceted diamond, with no facet that need ever be discarded.

What woman could keep herself from falling in love with a man like that?

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