Have you ever stood on an ocean shore and felt the overwhelming majesty of its power? It’s a mix of awe, wonder and a little trepidation. Or have you looked up at a night sky on a secluded mountaintop and seen more stars than ever before? As the Milky Way stretches across the sky above you, you catch glimpses of eternity. You marvel at the immensity and magnitude of God’s creations and feel His power.
In the last three weeks I’ve enjoyed both of these awe-inspiring experiences. There’s something so exhilarating, but also humbling about both. As a small human standing on the shore or looking up at that star-filled sky, I feel something akin to fear, but not really fear. It’s probably the kind of feeling the Old Testament writers were trying to convey when they spoke of the “fear of the Lord.” It’s an honoring respect and reverence. It’s an understanding that in comparison to this majesty, I am one weak little human. And yet, He loves me and I am part of the wonder of it all.
For the first time in my life I look at a relationship I’m in like I’m standing before the ocean or looking up at that starry night. What I see is expansive, immense, filled with possibilities and froth with in-the-moment realities that are beyond anything I’d ever dreamed – and I dream a lot.
We do a lot of analyzing, examining each other and ourselves from every angle. We’ve both been hurt, and we want to make sure we’re doing the right thing. We’re going in with eyes wide. We’re both strong, opinionated individuals and sometimes we butt heads, but we always work it through to a place of understanding and mutual appreciation.
There are the times where I’m shocked at how many little things we have in common like our love for music, intimate dive restaurants, spontaneously exploring rabbit trails, and barbeque. Our relationship is both exhilarating and deep, and occasionally exhausting.
Then, there are those brief moments of time when we suspend disbelief, stop our analyzing, relax into it and allow ourselves to see our relationship for what it is – a complete miracle. It’s an ocean of power, an expansive Milky Way of eternal possibilities. Our eyes fill with grateful tears, and we feel the need to fall to our knees and thank God for the miracle of “us.”
Never in my life, have I felt that I can finally be who God created me to be with another person. I can finally fill the measure of my creation with this man. Our relationship is more than all the typical reasons two people unite themselves. It’s more than intimacy or someone being your best friend. Yes, those things are important, and they are a part of who we are. Yet, the reason I’m considering an eternity with this man is because for the very first time I CAN see eternity – an incredible, expansive eternity.
There’s this feeling of immense creativity and power that is possible when we are together. We don’t know what God has in store for us, but we sense and know that it is huge. It’s as expansive, far reaching and eternal as that night sky we stood beneath in the mountains of southern Utah. Perhaps that’s why we get lost in the weeds of analyzing little things about our relationship – because staring at the immensity of who we are together fills us with that “fear of the Lord” feeling, and our human comprehension can’t fathom it.
I keep wondering, “What if we stopped analyzing it and just relaxed into the possibilities and power of eternity?”
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