Move from Fear and Confusion to Clarity, Confidence and Peace

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For me, life hasn’t been the “picture perfect standard.” It’s been more like a series of imperfect situations, hopefully shaping me into the woman God knows I can be. This blog is my journey of starting over … again. In a 7-year period, I ended 2 marriages, lost two homes, lost a multi-six figure business overnight, and restarted my life three times. The third time has been the charm.

Over a decade ago, God showed me a man who would enter my life — a man I’d stand on a stage and speak alongside, who would work with me to transform my property into a retreat location, who would be an integral part of my life’s mission.

I was given very specific characteristics of this man.

In time it became clear that my first husband would never be that man. Other things also happened to make that marriage one that I could not continue. I felt a clear directive from God that it was time to move on. After 28 years of marriage, I was back in the dating world.

The more I dated, the more I began to believe this future man was a figment of my overactive imagination. Surely, no man could be that perfect for me. I mean, seriously, what were the odds? I made my list more practical … more realistic. After a heartbreak, I decided to look for a “safe man.”

In September of 2015, after much prayer, I felt I should marry my second husband. He felt like a good man and a “safe” choice. After we were married, he encouraged me to leave my home and property and all the dreams I had for it, and start over in a new home with him. Due to financial pressures I couldn’t keep my home and property without his assistance. I also wanted to give our marriage everything I could. A new home that was just ours seemed smart.

Within 18 months, to my surprise, my second husband decided he didn’t want to be married anymore. He told me he wanted out, four days before my mother died in March of 2017.

Overnight, I found myself back in the home I grew up in, helping my dad transition the loss of my mother, to whom he’d been married for 52 years. I lived with him for five months before getting a small two bedroom apartment with my teenage son.

On this blog I share my adventures of healing my heart from the simultaneous loss of my mother and the rejection of my then-husband, and the miraculous journey of God resurrecting my dreams and bringing me the man He promised. Together we’re creating that property I envisioned and exploring our creativity together. I hope you’ll join me and gain some encouragement, understanding and hope for your journey.

Marnie