I have decided that the way many people feel about organized religion (based on the 10 Commandments) is similar to the way I’ve viewed playing music most of my life. I was taught how to read music and play the classics by a teacher who was very strict about getting every note right and the timing perfect. There was little room for creative expression. If you didn’t play the song as written, you had to go back and play that part again until you got it perfect.

In many ways, I believe those of us who are reared in religious faiths that teach clear principles and commandments can begin to form perfectionist views. Let’s compare the creative abilities God bestows upon us to music. Music is a universal language, with an ability to speak to the soul, to move the body, to enliven the mind, to give hope. If harnessed in a different way, it can contribute to depression, anger, immorality, hostility, even violence. There is no “right or wrong” to music, it is simply a language, a substance of creation.

If we view music as a beginner — like I did as a 5-year-old through 17-year-old — being taught a strict method of parroting what is on the page, without ever really understanding the theory or the creative process, we can form certain beliefs about music such as:

• Music is a mystery.
• I’m not creative enough to make my own music, I must stick with what is written by the gifted people who know how to compose music.
• If I hit a sour note or make a mistake while playing, my whole performance is now garbage.
• If I make a mistake, I must go back and correct it until every last thing is perfect.
• It’s better to take the safe route, not rock the boat and do everything by the book.

These beliefs can lead to being afraid of any attempt at creating music yourself. It can result in fear of straying off the page or even augmenting a song to make it your own.

Having learned to play music as a child, my young mind made certain assumptions. For example, let’s say a piece of music is written in the key of G and has an F sharp in it. There’s an F sharp in the key signature which tells you to sharp every F that occurs in the musical score – UNLESS there is a special symbol beside an F which tells you NOT to sharp the Fs in a particular measure. This is what is known in music as an “accidental.”

Imagine with me for a moment that you are a child learning to play the piano. You are told that when a note veers from the script and is different than the rest of the notes in the song, it’s called an “accidental.” You might form an opinion that there is something amiss with that note (or that measure). It’s an anomaly. It’s odd. It messes up your stride. You have to do something different. There may even be something wrong with that note. Or at best it’s an “oops.”

The child may never understand that there was actually a chord progression – a key change – that explains why that had to happen. No song is written all in one key. You’ll hear musicians call out, “Your Cheatin’ Heart in the key of G.” That still doesn’t mean the whole song is in G. The song may progress from G to D to C and back to G and so forth. D has an F sharp in it, whereas G and C don’t.

But, as a child, learning to parrot from the written page, you don’t see the big picture. You form assumptions that are inaccurate about the composition of music.

I’m sure my kind piano teacher had no intention of creating false perceptions about music in my mind. She was doing her best to teach me how to read music. I am most grateful for that. I can sight read most anything.

However, my internal conclusions about music crippled my creativity. It terrified me to play off script. You simply don’t do that. It’s not done. You play exactly what is on the page, and you play it perfectly.

Let’s parallel this for a moment with children being taught religious principles. There are certain guidelines and truths that we teach about how to live a happy life. Obeying God’s commandments prevents a lot of drama and pain.

If you’re a child who has a tendency to see patterns and form generalized hard and fast rules about life, you may come to believe that there is a right and wrong to every question, to every situation. If you pick the wrong direction, there could be cataclysmic consequences. You may begin to believe that going “off script” and using your creativity and imagination in creating your life is somehow dangerous or taboo.

Your parents and religious leaders may not have intended this in the least (or maybe they were fear-based and did intend it). For whatever reason, you may develop perfectionist views that can cripple you as you get older. You may ignore spiritual promptings because they seem out of the ordinary or you aren’t sure they are the perfect answer. What if you misheard or misunderstood? You start second guessing every decision in your life. “If I don’t go to that single’s activity and my future spouse is there, then I’ll never meet him and my life will be ruined.”

Let’s face it, life isn’t a script and is rarely ideal. Difficult challenges require creativity and charting an alternate course that can look terrifying if you’re afraid to try things that seem risky.

In music there is a structure. There are certain notes that fit well with certain chords. If you play a note that doesn’t fit with that chord, your music will sound sour or dissonant. If you shift to another chord, that same note could sound perfect. Learning the basic rules of music gives you the power to create beautiful compositions. Yet, if you don’t know the basic rules of music, and live as a parrot mimicking what is written, your ability to create is crippled, perhaps even non-existent.

The great Creator of the universe made us in His image – as creators. We are creating our own lives. His commandments are basic structure and guidelines for creating a happy life. Tossing them out the window isn’t the answer. Viewing them as controlling isn’t the answer any more than understanding chord theory is controlling.

Yet, extrapolating that there are rules about every situation and that we have to do everything exactly right or we are somehow ruining our lives, is equally flawed and crippling. Happiness in life is found in the blend of structure and exploration.

“Accidentals” aren’t mistakes. They are chord PROGRESSIONS. They make the music rich and meaningful. Sometimes we might feel inspired to shift our lives in a direction that others may view scary or “off script.” Yet, if we stay connected to the Divine as we shift directions, the key change is a PROGRESSION that adds rich meaning, nuances and wisdom to our lives.

I believe this is why God tells us we are made in His image as a creator. As we create, we learn the basic guidelines. When we find something that excites us (like music does me), we stretch beyond the guidelines to explore new techniques, nuances, and new ways of doing things. We create something glorious and beautiful. In the process we gain wisdom about more than music (or whatever we’re creating), and we learn about life itself.

Commandments and principles are foundations upon which to build, not boxes to encase us in prisons. It’s not an either / or. It’s a “YES, AND!”

Point to Ponder: How can we teach our children and grandchildren how to find balance between structure and exploration? How can we keep them from trapping themselves in a box of limiting, perfectionism?

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