It can be difficult forgiving loved ones who have hurt you – especially when their choices are causing repetitive pain in your life. What do you do when you keep bumping up against the negative ramifications of someone’s actions?
I have been pondering on how to forgive those whose choices are negatively impacting my life. This morning as I was meditating and praying, I saw Jesus welcome me as if I were a dear, beloved friend whom He rejoiced to see. I wondered why this was so. I’m just an ordinary person, why would He be so thrilled to see me? My mind pulled up the usual reasons that I’m not so special or why I shouldn’t be a favorite of His in any way.
He said, “You are looking at yourself in the past or the present. When I look at you, I don’t see you in process. I see who you are becoming. I see you in what (for you) is the future. What I see is a resplendent being who radiates love, hope, freedom and creativity. I see a queen of the Most High God.
When you think of one of your children, do you obsess over the milk he or she spilled when that child was four? Do you even remember or care? Does it matter anymore? No, you rejoice in who that child is today.Me: Is this why you are able to forgive? Because you don’t see each of us in progress? You see us as mature, redeemed versions of ourselves?
Jesus: Yes, I see who you ultimately are.
Me: So this is how I could forgive the people who are currently hurting me or who have hurt me? I could see them as they are becoming?
Jesus: Yes.
Me: Would you please show me these people in this way so I can have that picture in my mind instead of what is happening now?
He brought to my memory a picture I took once of two people. One was holding the face of the other and looking in the other person’s eyes with immense love and adoration. The first person had been away for a couple years and this was the first time they’d been together in that time.
Jesus showed me each of my estranged loved ones greeting me in just this way. Each of them apologized and explained that they didn’t see or understand the truth of things. They asked forgiveness and expressed love and regret for the wasted time. I too had greater clarity about how my actions were perceived and apologized to them. In the end, none of what is presently happening will matter in the least. It will be gone, and the only thing left will be love and forgiveness.
As I focus on that picture, I can forgive and move toward the vision of what is to come. By releasing my feelings of hurt, animosity or anger, I open up the possibility for this vision to materialize. I won’t want those who have hurt me to “pay” for their mistakes. I will magnanimously forgive and wish them nothing but love and good things.
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