Back in 2010 I took the SimplyHealed Method(TM) training in Birmingham, AL. At the time I was dealing with some issues with my first husband. During the class, Carolyn Lyman Cooper taught us how to release things, and how to use the different energy techniques. After she taught a new concept, she’d demonstrate it with someone and then she’d have us pair up with a partner and practice the technique on each other.
I remember at one point the need to forgive my husband came up. I knew that was there, but the energy of unforgiveness wasn’t shifting as my partner tried to help me release it. Finally, she called Carolyn over and said, “I can’t get her to forgive her husband.”
I chuckled and thought, “Yeah, cause that’s a quest of a lifetime.” Carolyn kind of chuckled a bit too and said, “Let’s just make a space for her to forgive him.” So she did that.
Later that evening in my hotel room, I had a major light bulb experience that helped me understand WHY I did not want to forgive and how I was using unforgiveness as a protection from further hurt.
Over the next 3 years of being married to him, of course new things came up to forgive. After the divorce, there was more stuff. But I can honestly say today that I totally forgive my first husband. I wish him well. I hope he can find happiness. And I’m sad when I hear he’s not doing well or is suffering in some way. I don’t hold any ill will toward him.
I think telling someone they need to forgive or even trying to shift energy around to make someone forgive “right now” isn’t the way it works. I think Carolyn’s wise option to make a space for forgiveness is best. At least it was for me.
Each day in my current situation, there are times when I’m totally ok and I feel like I’m able to forgive. I see the big picture and that all of this is a gift. Still there are moments when I take it back and I’m angry. But I know I’ve made a space to forgive. Forgiveness will come in its own time and in its own way. I’m not going to stress over it having to be right this minute.
