My dad has patiently listened to me analyze the crap out of my marriage. Finally today he said,
“You need to stop looking for something you did wrong. You’re probably never going to understand what happened. He probably doesn’t even know what happened.”
I have always had this belief that no matter what I go through, it was worth it if I can learn from it. I keep thinking there is something here I need to learn and avoid in the future. But I don’t think there really is anything in here to learn about relationships.
Maybe the only things to learn are some things about ME. Not anything I did “wrong” but that I should never settle — even if I feel like God is telling me to settle. Cause He probably wasn’t. He probably just needed me to run an errand that would teach me something about myself and give one of his sons an opportunity to choose happiness and to choose HIM.
In the process, I learned that I have an incredible ability to love, to look for the good, to believe in another person, to live in the moment and find the beauty there.
I learned a lot of really beautiful things about myself, and I fully believe that God has something truly beautiful in store for me that won’t require me to settle in any form or fashion.
