When you have disagreements or strained relationships, it’s important to watch your words and be careful what you say about others… to friends and especially on social media. You can’t take back the seeds you sow. I know I have done this; and I wish I could take back the seeds that have been carried on the wind. I’ve also been on the other side of things.
For example, over a decade ago I did something, quite unintentionally, that upset a friend. This friend spoke to at least one other person about it (perhaps more), getting advice about how to approach me about what I’d done. Within a couple weeks, my friend eventually came to me and confronted me about the situation. I was able to explain that it was purely an accident and that there was no ill-intent on my part. I had no idea I’d even done the thing that had upset my friend. I corrected the situation before any permanent harm was done. We resolved the matter and continued to be good friends.
Other than to remember never to do that “thing” again, I never thought more about the resolved conflict. That is until Dave and I were getting serious… a little over a year ago. Suddenly, he bumped into rumors about me that I could trace back to this one incident from nearly 15 years earlier. The unintentional mistake I’d made, which had been mentioned to someone else got turned into a malicious crime. He was warned to steer clear of me because I was not someone he should like, trust or associate with.
The thing about sharing a dispute with others while you’re in the midst of a misunderstanding, is that the judgments, mind-reading and malicious conjectures you make during that misunderstanding are planted in the minds of the people you share them with. Then, when you resolve the misunderstanding and set things straight, you often realize there wasn’t any malicious intent, or even if there was you can resolve things and the person can make things right. But now, what has been shared could already be spread to others. And rarely do we go back and talk to everyone we mentioned it to and let them know the resolution occurred.
Families, friendships and people’s lives are damaged in the wake. Some relationships are completely destroyed over things like this. Thankfully, Dave was wise enough to come ask me about it so I could think back and remember what could have precipitated the random attack upon my character by people I didn’t even know.
It’s made me take a hard look at what I share with others when I’m upset with someone else. I definitely can do better and have my own repenting to do.
If you have relationships that need healing, I invite you to listen to this musical piece I recorded with the intention of creating healing in relationships.
Music has the power to heal. As you listen to this song, imagine light, love and healing pouring through the relationships of your life. Imagine grudges, ,misunderstandings, and ill-feelings melting away. Imagine anything that isn’t right being replaced with beautiful unity, wholeness, happiness, love, forgiveness and harmony.
Featured Image Copyright:Aaron Amat / BigStockPhoto.com
